I don’t do rants often, but I’m feeling a little irritated.
As you probably know by now, I just released my debut novel, The Madness of Miss Grey. It’s hard to get a book by a brand new author noticed, so I’ve been trying a bit of everything including (and despite hearing decidedly mixed opinions as to their effectiveness) Facebook ads. The Madness of Miss Grey is an historical romance with the sort of cover most historical romance covers have. In case you’ve forgotten (as if I’d let you,) here it is:
Not exactly Caligula, is it? In fact, let’s compare:
Nope, not Caligula.
Nevertheless my ad was refused because “it includes an image or video depicting people performing seductive or implied sexual acts.”
Which sexual act? Kissing? Both people are fully dressed (okay, his shirt is unbuttoned, but she’s shielding his modesty with her body). Her back is to him. Surely there must be some mistake, right? So, I appealed and was once again denied.
Let me tell you, it’s going to be tricky advertising this book without showing the cover. So, for the first time in my life, I bothered to read Facebook’s advertising policy with regard to sexy content. You too can partake of this joy:
No artistic nudity even if it’s only implied. No hot women in bed even if they’re alone and covered in a sheet. No cleavage because women’s bodies are just too inflaming. Won’t someone think of the children? Won’t someone think of the poor men (for they cannot control themselves)?
And that’s not all.
No eating a banana! That banana is clearly meant to imply something! No couple in bed even if we mostly see just feet. We know what’s going on under that sheet and it’s something dirty! No bare man chest. (Actually, that one took me by surprise. There was me thinking only female bodies are rude.) Oh, but artistic nudity is fine after all, as long as it’s a statue or a painting. Put a woman next to him and I’m thinking it’d be a different story because then they might be about to do…stuff. Not sure what would happen if it was a statue of two naked men. Facebook might put a red x by it or they might take the view common to so many elderly male historians that two naked men in art are always and only best buds.
No, Sister Michael, this isn’t hell. This is 2019. Hard to believe, I know.